And I Call This Love

      Expansion - artist Paige Bradley 

I want to like you.

Let me love you.

I only like you because I don't know you.

When I see your nakedness I cringe. I don't really like any body. I want to see the mask and the costume. It makes me feel comfortable. 

I don't love you without the mask and without the costume.

You are hideous.

Your truth is like drooping breasts and sagging flesh with snaky silvery fissures running up and down from carrying and holding, expanding and shrinking over and over, bringing other naked beings into the world. 

What is beautiful about you and your brokenness?

Let me pretend that you are beautiful and that I like you.

Clothes are not for comfort and utility, they are there so that I can pretend to love you.

And when you are perfect, and young, and beautiful, I will feed on you and use you until you become ugly. 

I will hide you away for myself.

I cannot stand your power.

I will push you down and be your lord and master,

and when you change

you will wear a mask and you will wear a costume to please me, so that I may love you.

If I can't have you, you will hide so that that I cannot see you and I will not be tempted by you.

You will wear a mask and you will wear a costume so that I won't love you.

And I call this love.

– by Julie  O./ Ember Elektra

August 23, 2014