I Said I Was Sorry . . .

Say you're sorry . . .  Can you make a person say that they are sorry? Does it have any meaning if it is not heartfelt? 

Sorry is from Old English sarig "distressed, grieved, full of sorrow," from Proto-Germanic *sairiga- "painful", from *sairaz "pain." However, in English it is often used as a polite remark even when such emotions are not present. In this way not unlike, "excuse me", "pardon me", or "I apologize", all of which have the connotation of asking for forgiveness. 

When people are truly sorry they feel distress resulting from their behavior. This suffering is usually felt first as mental anguish. If a person is not personally sorry because of their actions, they may become "sorry" due to punishment. You can make somebody sorry they did something because of this punishment, but you can't make someone regret what they did to the other person for the other person's sake. They may be sorry because they are sore (bodily), but still glad (not sorry) about what they did to the other person. In fact they may feel quite sore at the other person, but not really sorry for what they did.

Sore (adj.) is from Old English sar "painful, grievous, aching, sad, wounding", influenced in meaning by Old Norse sarr "sore, wounded," from Proto-Germanic *saira "suffering, sick, ill".

So, when someone is sore because of punishment, we could call this saira-tion (making to be ill, sore-ation). Serrate is from Latin serratus "sawlike, notched like a saw".

The Eighteenth Floor of Hell(Diyu), Chamber of the Saw

The notches on saws are like mountain peaks, such as the Sierra (from Latin serra "saw") Nevada mountains. These peaks are sharp looking. Peaked mountain tops are chief among mountains, being the highest. see horns: Be Fruitful and Multiply

In biblical Hebrew sar is "chief, ruler, official, captain, prince," and sarah is "noble lady, princess." Compare this to, Old English sar (wounding), Proro-Germanic *saira (suffering), and *sairaz (pain). Why would "ruler" and "noble lady" have an association with suffering, sickness or illness? 

One possibility would be that the sar (chief) or Sarah (noble lady) is the inflicter of sar (wounding), *saira (suffering), or *saira (suffering). They might have the power to do this because of their highness, their Royal Highness. Because they are at the top, they might come off as sharp while pronouncing judgements, and they are even peaked (wearing a crown). 

    Theodora Queen of Arta Icon, Peaked with a Serrated Crown

The goddess that is represented by a snake (Uraeus) in Ancient Egypt was called Wadjet. She was known as The Lady of the Houses of Flame (pr nsr, or perneser(punisher?), also the Eye of Ra, and Nesert "searing one", among other titles. She was represented as the shinning fiery serpent goddess. She was powerful; a symbol of power and protection often worn on the pharaoh's crown. Power can be used to punish the wicked. This does not make the punisher bad, necessarily, if the "punishment" purifies (pyro-fies) and directs one toward the good. see Testing, one, two, three

And I will bring the third part through the fire and, refine them as silver is refined, and test them as gold is tested . . . Zechariah 13:9

    Uraei with Sun Disks, Reverse side of the throne of Tutankhamen (1346-1337 BCE)

To the Hebrews, who had come out of Egypt(therefore familiar with this concept of the goddess, Wadjet), this powerful  sarah (i.e. Lady of Flame) became painfully present to them in the nachash seraphim; the so called fiery/bitting (seraphim) serpents (nachash) that God sent as punishment to the complaining Israelites. After they were bitten by the nachash seraphim, the Israelites become sorry (sera-y, touched by the seraph), didn't they? Then YHWH instructed Moses to make a seraph and put it on a pole (nes). So, Moses made a representation of a seraph; a nachash nechosheth, i.e., serpent of bronze (not unlike the Egyptians's depictions of the goddess/power, Wadjet), and when the Israelites looked upon it they were healed. In this way, they were healed by the very thing which inflicted the suffering upon them to begin with. 

    Fyodor Bruni, Nehushtan, 1841 (Nehushtan; the bronze serpent idol[nachash nechosheth])

There is a similar word in Hebrew to seraphim transliterated as serappim "anxious / diquieting thoughts." When someone is guilty of doing wrong they often are plagued by disquieting thoughts. Pangs of conscience are a kind of message from God that you have done wrong. Maybe these disquieting thoughts (serappim) are named after the messengers or angels which transmit them on behalf of God, i.e., the seraphim/seraphs the "burning ones" who behold the face of God.

    Depiction of a Saraphim Angel

Seraphim stood above Him, each having six wings: With two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one cried out to another and said "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts [YHWH Sabaoth]. The whole earth is full of his glory." 

And the foundations of the thresholds trembled at the sound of him who called out, while the temple was filling with smoke. Then I said, "Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips, And I live amoung a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, The LORD of hosts." 

Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with thongs from the altar. With it he touched my lips and said," See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for." Isaiah 6:2-7 NAS 

God interacts with people through his messengers like the seraph with the burning coal in the passage above. It is clear that Isaiah was sorry for his uncleanliness in the presence of the LORD, and he was not punished for this offense. If he had not been sorry and humbled in the presence of the LORD what would have happened then? Would the seraph had made him sorry through some sort of suffering? 

"It's Beautiful!" . . . uh oh.

    Angel of Death, Raiders of the Lost Arc (1981)

If a person is not sorry for what they have done, is there any good in saying, "I'm sorry"? What is gained through a forced recitation of the words? It can be humiliating for the person who is not sorry to have to say that they are sorry, but is the resulting ill feeling constructive?. What should be said, for example, when a playmate is annoying you because you want his toy and he won't give it to you, so you hit him? A grownup comes in and says, "Tell him that you are sorry." "Sorry," you say in order to not get in trouble, but you don't mean it. 

Adventure Time, Season 5, "Bad Timing"

Why not be honest and say how you feel? Like, "I hit you because I'm angry." That's the beginning of a dialogue that could possibly end in a sincere apology. Right? You should probably only say sorry when you really mean it, when you wish you had not done the thing, when you are actually grieved by what you have done. If a person is in the wrong and not sorry for it they will probably be visited by those angels of conscience (serappim) and maybe be scared into a sincere (sin-sar? grieved by sin) sorry, like the Israelites in the desert. It's the mental feeling of illness, that the (burning) guilt of sin brings on, that can cause a change of heart. Receiving physical punishment does not necessarily produce this result. Not all "sorry"s are equal.

And what about saying sorry when you are not really distressed or full of sorrow because of what you have done? It seems we use this world rather liberally in the English language, and it is somewhat removed from its original context. However, this does not necessarily make it wrong to say it for that reason . . .

If I have made any unintended mistakes in this post, I'm sorry.